Winners and Losers

(This is a commemorative speech I just wrote for my public speaking class...)

I’ll never forget the first time I met Devin. He was 20, I was 16. At 6’5”, he towered over me. He approached me rather abruptly and with intensity. He started to ask me multiple, completely random questions: did I like swimming? Was I right handed or left handed? Or, my personal favorite, how did I feel about mayonnaise? I was honestly uncomfortable. I didn’t know exactly how to respond. Luckily, a woman came and diverted his attention back to his school work he was supposed to be doing. I learned that Devin was autistic, and was in a special program for teens with autism. Devin challenged me that day, and I felt it was my turn to challenge myself. So, right then and there, I rather impulsively filled out an application to become a tutor within the program.

Over the next two years, I became Devin’s personal tutor. I spent every weekday with him, and as much as I taught him, he taught me more. What I immediately admired about Devin was his confidence – he approached me that first day with such assurance in himself, an assurance that most high school students often didn’t possess. Devin was himself, 100% of the time. And although he was often obsessive, socially-awkward and incoherent, he was shameless about it. No one should be afraid to be themselves, and Devin certainly reinforced that belief into me. Not only that, but Devin also proved to be one of the most compassionate people I’ve come to know. He fostered a genuine concern about everyone around him. His habit of asking obsessive, random questions proved just that – he wanted to get to know everyone and really become their friend.

Devin quickly became more than just “the boy I tutored”. He became my friend.

Regardless, I don’t think I really fully appreciated Devin until one specific day. You see, everyday, Devin and I went to a PE class, where they played individual sports (in teams). We played badminton, ping pong, bowling, etc. Unfortunately, every single game, we lost. Devin was a good sport though, and insisted on shaking the hands of his opponents congratulating their win. One day, after losing, he went to shake a boy’s hand. The boy, in turn, looked at Devin with disgust, and responded with a rather rude rendition of “no”. I was angered beyond belief, and after telling the other boy I found his actions unacceptable, me and Devin began to walk back to his class. On the way back, I apologized to Devin, on behalf of the boy. Devin responded that it was ok, he said the boy was simply a bad winner. I agreed, then Devin stated that he was the best loser ever. He kept repeating, over and over again, that he was a better loser than all the kids in his class. He was starting to annoy me and I snapped at him to stop it – there were a lot of good losers in the world besides him as well. Finally, he screamed at me, and this, I will never forget: he said he was the best loser because he lost the most in life.

This stung. Maybe because, until this day, I never gave Devin, or the Devin’s of the world, enough credit. Devin lost every sports game he played, yet he still played and put forth all his effort, even though it went for naught. And he did so with enthusiasm, a positive attitude, and sportsmanship that I had never before witnessed. But it wasn’t limited to this trivial PE class; this was how Devin lived his life. He would never drive a car. He would never go to college. He would never live alone. But Devin is one of the most persistent people I have come to know. Whereas many people would quit, Devin kept going. As I came to work with other autistic teens, I saw many of them even stare in the eye adversity and back down, out of embarrassment or fear. But my friend Devin was bigger than this. Like the boy that refused to shake his hand, many kids had made fun of Devin during his life. But Devin’s attitude was always positive, and I can’t say enough about how much I admired him. People like Devin often do lose in life, more than me, and more than many of you. But their ability to move past that with persistence and positivity make them the biggest winners of all.