Girls, girls, girls

I hate to admit it, but this describes me to a tee. I'm pretty sure I've said/done, every one of these things. It's hilarious. Enjoy!

"More than just our Marilyn Monroe"

I have had a somewhat recent, yet strong, interest in Marilyn Monroe. The obsession came on somewhat randomly; never once had I given her much thought. Merely she was a woman famous less for her actual contribution to Hollywood, but more so to her contribution to American society as the first true “sex symbol”.

Nevertheless, one summer day I wandered into my local used bookstore and found a book, Blonde, written by one of my favorite authors, Joyce Carol Oates. I purchased this fictionalized account of Norma Jean Baker/Mortenson and immediately became engrossed in this character. This woman, whose life was cut tragically short, fascinated the world, and continues to do so to this day. However this fascination did not, and does not, always come in a positive form. On the contrary, many exhibited their fascination towards her through detest; they declare her unintelligent, promiscuous, and instable.

What many did not recognize was all the strength she had, regardless of the irreversible moment of weakness that came at the end of her life. Today, in a society slowly climbing it’s way out of the “heroin-chic” era that had girls puking in toilets to stay under 100 pounds, we applaud her curvaceous body. But Norma Jeane, with all the trials and tribulations she endured, deserves much more. She deserves our admiration.

Norma Jeane’s upbringing was no short of traumatic, as her mentally ill mother forced her to bounce from foster home to foster home. While in foster care, she suffered sexual abuse as a child and teenager. As she grew up and gained fame, she eventually spoke out about it, but the reception was unsupportive to say the least. In a time in which abuse was hushed and not discussed, her openness was unwelcome. She was ostracized and it was portrayed as her fault. Her ability to be one of, if not THE first, celebrity to speak out against such an atrocity showed a strength that today we would celebrate.

Due to her upbringing, it is not surprising that Norma Jeane sought attention through her sexuality. This was unfortunate in a sense, as this highlighted her insecurity. However this should not be totally viewed in a negative light. Like the flappers of the 20’s, she enjoyed her sexuality in a way that was typically reserved for men. Men, with all their masculinity, were allowed to smoke, drink and enjoy the human pleasure of sex, and what’s more, they were praised for doing so. Women, on the other hand, were seen as vulgar for exhibiting their sex appeal to anyone other than their male companion. Norma Jeane enjoyed her sexiness, as any woman should, and wasn’t afraid to state it (“I’m very definitely a woman and I enjoy it”). She owned her sexuality.

As a result, men resented her. Women feared her.

Norma Jeane’s womanhood was powerful to the extent that it was able to be independent from men – a concept almost unthinkable in domesticated America. She was a woman, and a sexual woman at that, on her own accord, without a male to discover or define it. Other woman of that time were idolized, and continue to be so, but for what? Their passivity? Doris Day was praised for being the virginal, all-American, girl next door. Even the beloved Jackie Kennedy, with all her poise and glamour, was simply a political accessory of her famous husband. Don’t believe it? In recent tapes released from Jacki O, she stated, “Someone said, ‘Where do you get your opinions?’ And I said, ‘I get all my opinions from my husband.’ Which is true. How could I have any political opinions, you know? His were going to be the best.” She remained a secondary cog of her husband’s political manifesto.

Norma Jeane, unknown to many, was an intelligent woman, masked by the media as the “dumb, sexy blonde”. An avid reader, poet, politically aware citizen and accepting activist, she was never given the credit due. She had a mind of her own, an unpublicized recognition she never received in a world of women who often just smiled and nodded. Ella Fitzgerald credits Norma Jeane for jumpstarting her career, and being ahead of her time due to her accepting racial beliefs. A recently released interview with her had this statement: “What I really want to say: That what the world really needs is a real feeling of kinship. Everybody: stars, laborers, Negroes, Jews, Arabs. We are all brothers. Please don't make me a joke. End the interview with what I believe”. This part never made it to print.



And possibly most to be admired, Norma Jeane had vulnerabilities, like all humans have. However more importantly, she was self-reflective, and recognized her flaws. She once said, “I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best.” Weakness happens. Sadness happens. Mistakes happen. And as humans, too often those that exhibit these traits are seen as pathetic; fragile. Instead, we should honor those with the ability to objectively view themselves, for reflection is the most successful path for improvement. Unfortunately, at times her vulnerabilities got the best of her – she was tortured, belittled and troubled, by those closest to her but also by the millions who never even knew her. But her ability to express these vulnerabilities showed us that she was human. Too often female celebrities of the 50’s (Audrey Hepburn, Doris Day), were beacons of poise, stability. But was that a façade? Did it give women an unrealistic expectation to live up to? To be strong, elegant, and “ok” 100% of the time? Today, we value weakness. It is less taboo, and more excepted for people to receive therapy, anti-depressants, etc., and confronting our demons is considered the right thing to do. Vulnerability is ok, and Norma Jeane was not afraid to show that and be honest about it.

In short, Marilyn Monroe was ahead of her time – in her sexuality, feminine role, activism (racial, political and sexual), and honesty regarding her vulnerabilities. Too often people pity her innocent and her helplessness, they scorn her sex appeal, and they mock her intellect. She was not perfect – no one is. Certainly she made mistakes, however she also embodied characteristics to be admired, and revered – characteristics we should emulate. And I hope, in the years to come, she becomes bigger than the sex symbol she represented.

Now, in the Marilyn spirit, I'm off to see the new Michelle Williams movie, "My Week with Marilyn". I'll let you know how it goes, but for now, I'll leave you with quite possibly my favorite quote from her...

“I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go, things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they're right, you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.”