Does it make me a fatalist to admit my love of and belief in that quote? Does it make me an unhopeful cynist who believes that, when it comes down to it, true and real friendship is extremely rare to find?
I don't think so.
To vindicate myself, let me make clear that I appreciate all the friendships I have, or have ever had, even the ones that I've come to admit are, or were, merely superficial. And I am by no means ungrateful to those that I have previously and currently refer to by the generic title of "friend".
However, friendship, to me, in its truest and purest form, is worth more than we commonly give it credit for. A friend is not simply someone with whom you can laugh. It's not someone you go to dinner with once a month. It's often not even that person you feel comfortable enough to cry to.
No, a true friend is more than that. Yes, you may still indulge in the frivalence of friendship with your friends; the jokes, the outings, the confidential conversations. But a true friend, provides more than companionship.
A true friend has unconditional love for you. Their love is not impeeded by bumps in your relationship, and instead continues to grow stronger. This is someone who believes in you and finds perfection in all of your imperfections. Does this mean a friend never gets upset with you? No, of course not. Annoyance and irritation is often unavoidable. The distinction is still being able to love the person with the same intensity.
A friend also devotes the time into a friendship. This is someone who values you and stands by you not only at your best, but at your absolute worst. They aren't there for you 90% of the time, or only when it is convenient for them, but are there for you even at the most inopportune times. This does not imply one must see and talk to their friend 24/7. Life is busy, and true friends realize this. But it is keeping contact, not only when you want it, but when you know the other person needs it. More importantly, it is carving out the time and place in your heart to carry your friends with you at all times; keeping them in your thoughts and subsequent life. Friendships aren't easy to maintain, but true ones are worth the effort.
Lastly, a true friendship takes desire. Life, for many of us, is about figuring out who we are and finding our identity. For I am of the belief that there is no greater relationship than the one we have with ourselves. However, a true friend wants in on that intimacy. A true friend knows you sometimes even better than you know yourself. And, if they don't yet, they want to get to know you to that extent. Do you ever notice how mothers seem to know everything about you? They always know when you are upset, angry or nervous- no matter how hard you try to hide it. Mothers, like my own, are proven true friends because they often know their children better than anyone. A true friend wants to learn everything about you, because, once they have, they know how to best serve you in your friendship. They know what you need, what you want, and how to make you happy.
Now, why is a friend to all a friend to none? Because no one, in reality, has enough love, time and desire to give everyone the type of friendship I have just described. It is physically impossible to have those feelings and make that inseperable commitment to everyone. To foster lasting, true friendships is strenuous, and not easy. But then again, nothing worth working for is easy.
Again, this is not to say that those other "friendships" we have are not enjoyable, or even valuable. My peripheral groups of friends play an important role in my life, and I am priveleged to have them. However, realistically, those groups of people may come and go, physically or emotionally. And while it may be disheartening to lose a "friend", I find solace in knowing that my true friends will always be there.
Friendship is rare, but the rarest things in life are often the most beautiful.
So to all my true friends, thank you for making my world a better and more beautiful place for me.
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